And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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