he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
