She is in my trunk
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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