every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
