he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Damn victory sex feels great
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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