...so i touched it.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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