found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize