and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
