I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
