what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
