Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
