Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
