I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
