You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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