i wish my penis had a tongue
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
