just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize