she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize