Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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