so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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