you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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