I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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