Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
