this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
