He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
