There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bring me that man meat
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
