weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dignity is for republicans.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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