I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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