We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
