The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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