your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My penis needs a shock collar
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
