Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
