Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
