i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
