Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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