i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
