I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize