do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
