I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
