my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
