Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
