But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
