i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You ate ashes out of my bong
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
