Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
