the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
