Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
