its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
