i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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