no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
