she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
