This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
