Whod you bang
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
