Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
