new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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