Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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