stop calling my apartment porn island.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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