like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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