Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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