Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize