im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
