At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
