sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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