So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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